Heute kommt ein Beitrag anderer Art – hier könnt ihr die Kurzgeschichte lesen, die ich für den Kurzgeschichten-Wettbewerb des Bundeswettbewerb Fremdsprachen geschrieben habe. Das Hauptthema war vorgegeben, es sollte um Aufbruch gehen. Ich hoffe, ihr kommt damit zurecht, dass es auf Englisch ist!
Viel Spaß beim Lesen wünsche ich euch, und teilt mir doch gerne mit, wie es eich gefallen hat!
I waited the whole day for him to come home. I packed my bags. I looked into every drawer
to make sure I left nothing behind. All I want is to disappear from his life completely. Maybe
this is my way of dealing with the guilt that what I’m about to do is going to give me. I went
over all the things I want to tell him. I just want him to understand, to not hate me completely.
You’d think I should have been prepared for this moment, but when I hear his steps outside
and the sound of his keys unlocking the door, my stomach turns. Maybe today isn’t the right
day, I think. But it’s too late already. He’s closing the door. „Hey“, he says. He points at my
bags, a smile on his face. „I didn’t know you were going somewhere.“ Keep breathing. „I
think we… need to talk.“ The amount of strength it takes me to get these words out is
indescribable. I immediately regret it. Suck it up, the rational part of my brain tells me.
There’s no going back now, get it out already. „Look… I’m leaving.“ Now he just looks
worried. „Where to?“ „No. I’m going away. I’m not coming back. I… Please don’t tell me you
didn’t know this was going to happen.“ I force myself to look him in the eyes as I break his
heart and mine, too. I can make out the exact moment he understands what I’m trying to tell
him. He’s silent. I thought I was afraid of what he was going to say, but this is worse. I feel
the need to fill this deafening silence. „Look, I know I should have said something sooner. I
know that you would have wanted me to talk about what I felt. But I just… I couldn’t. I
couldn’t, because I knew it wouldn’t change anything. Because it’s nothing you did. It’s just
that I feel like it’s the best for both of us if we end things know.“ I take a deep breath. I feel
like I’m going to lose my mind if he doesn’t say something right now. „I… don’t know what
to say. I wish I could understand what you are trying to tell me. If it’s nothing I did, then what
is it that’s bothering you so much?“ I’m trying to figure out if he hates me already, but he just
looks confused. „I don’t know what it is. But with you, I feel like I am one half. Without you, a
big part of me is missing. Look, it has taken me so long to finally tell you because I was trying
to figure out who I am without you. And I honestly have no idea. And it scares me to death. I
can’t live like this anymore. I have spent the past years trying to love myself. I should be
whole by myself now. But I’m not. And this is the only way I can help myself.“ God, if I look
into his eyes for one second longer, I will stay for the rest of my life. I look away. „Well, then
I guess that’s it“, he says. „I don’t want to keep you from loving yourself.“ I wish he wouldn’t
be this kind. I take my bags. He opens the door for me. „Then… Bye.“ „Bye. I… hope you get
to be whole again“, he says.
As the door closes behind me, it feels like I can breathe for the first time in what seems like
Macht es gut und bis Morgen,